While everyone may have an axe to grind with the first generation of iPhone, I thought it would be prudent to review just why the iPhone v1.0 sucked - reasons why I did not buy it and also things that I hope are fixed in the handset to be announced tomorrow; Making me want to buy it.

Just a word of caution, the comments are not mine. Rather I reproduce what a commenter called SwitchBitch has left on Engadget but it sums up what I have to say very nicely. Maybe I could do without the personal jokes on Mr. Jobs and Apple Fanboys, but then I dont want to infringe on the persons ideas by editing them. Here goes:

*****THE 'REAL WORLD' IPHONE FAQ*****

No User Replaceable Battery: Inexcusable. Considering the amount of times I had to open up my iPod just to disconnect the battery and reset the piece of shit, this alone would put me off the iPhone. And that mophie crap- wtf is that? Like im gonna pay $100 to make my phone even thicker and bulkier?

No Copy and Paste: Unbelievable. How could they fall short of implementing a cut and paste feature? Is this a joke?

No MMS: Just use e-mail, idiot, or wait for someone to write a MMS app. Or buy any other phone this side of the millenium and send MMS to your heart's content.

No 3G: Inexcusable for a high end handset released in 2007.

No Third Party Apps: iPhone users are too stupid to use them anyway.

No Push E-mail: Oops. Could the iPhone...actually....be...a bit....crap?

Too Expensive: That's cos only rich ponce suckers will buy this fancy junk. It looks good but it does nothing.

Locked to AT&T: Thats' what happens when AT&T and Apple have gay sex in the cupboard.

I don't want to unlock it: You're better not to touch it at all really, You don't want to brick it and have to take the battery out....

But I hate AT&T: Is this a gay sex thing?

I'm going to Sprint: Beats having an iPhone.

Sprint sucks too: Move to Europe.

Verizon doesn't have the iPhone: Verizon didn't give Apple any gay sex.

Apple should unlock the iPhone: It would still be crap.

I like Windows Mobile better: Well done for preferring function over slick, vacuous advertising.

I like Symbian: Yup, theres a whole world out there. iPhone only exists to keep the low-brow monkeys away from quality technology.

Apple didnt invent multi-touch, you know: Apple didnt invent any of the iphones features, yet they tout it all as being their own. This is a big part of what makes them pathetic fraudsters in my opinion.

I want a phone with a keypad: The reasons not to buy an iPhone are pretty overwhelming by now.

I hate Steve Jobs: Hes just a businessman, he wants your money. Only idiots will give it to him.

Apple users are smug: Thats cos ignorance is bliss, and if Apple users are one thing, they're ignorant.